In Need of Patience - Sermon Notes | Bible Baptist Church of Ballincollig

Hebrews 10:36 For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.
God has filled this Bible with promises - not all of them are for us, some are for Israel, some are for Christians in the First Century, and so many are for believers
But most promises are missed because of impatience! Not waiting on God’s timing!
Let’s listen to what happens in Chapter 16
“Now Sarai Abram’s wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar” - Genesis 16:1
“And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai” - Genesis 16:2
“And Sarai Abram’s wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife” - Genesis 16:3
“And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes” - Genesis 16:4
“And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee” - Genesis 16:5
“But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face” - Genesis 16:6
Sounds like a nightmare - use and abuse - yet God was there, and made a lesson for us about Frustration, Faith, Submission, Transformation, Blessings
We will only deal with the first half this morning. Next week is going to be a keeper! It will cover how GOD says He handles our suffering, and how we need to trust Him then!
Still No Baby (Genesis 16:1)
“Now Sarai Abram’s wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar” - Genesis 16:1
Sarai is Struggling to Believe…

God has promised her husband at least ONE child (Genesis 12:1,2) Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee: And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing:
It has been 10 years since Genesis 12 and God repeated His promise (Genesis 15:5,6) And he brought him forth abroad, and said, Look now toward heaven, and tell the stars, if thou be able to number them: and he said unto him, So shall thy seed be. And he believed in the LORD; and he counted it to him for righteousness.
Sarai and Abram came from a culture that worshipped fertility - and barrenness was shameful
- Men throughout history divorced their wives if they couldn’t produce children
- King Henry the VIII married and divorced and executed wife after wife seeking an heir!
Sarai is a woman who CAN’T have children and it is haunting her
It was becoming harder and harder to just believe
She sees herself as a failure!

Starts over-thinking the problem

Sarai has had enough waiting.
- She heard God’s promise to Abram, for children.
- She probably tried very hard to get pregnant. Working on timing - It does matter the time of day, and frequency that you try. But there was still nothing. Her womb was dead.
- She struggled with how long she should wait. It’s been 10 years. And as you get older - she is now 75 years - it starts to feel like an eternity.
So she starts over-thinking the problem - Sarai has a problem with overthinking.
- Her imaginations are going crazy.
- She doesn’t know the verse yet that she should “cast down imaginations” that go against what she already knew to be right.
She decides that God is not always good, and so needs a little help!
- Rebekah will do the same thing - try and fix her husband Isaac so that God’s promises are accomplished - with her help!
- It is so easy to think God needs us to force things, to make our husbands do right, to force our children to be saved
- Ladies, You had better learn to not push people! Speak your mind, but trust the Lord!

She Stops Waiting - Not willing to continue to wait on God
What do you think Sarai needs? Patience!
Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

A. Taking Control (Genesis 16:1,2)

“Now Sarai Abram’s wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai” - Genesis 16:1,2
How to get what we want when God is not giving us what we want
Blame God

Sarai is getting bitter
He now is the reason why they had to take things into their own hands
It was GOD that had made all these grandiose promises, and then had not done what He promised
Question: Is it right to judge God’s timing? And yet we do
Do not act and react like you know better than God

Reject God’s way

God’s ay of giving them a promised son was impossible - so it was easy to reject
It was already acceptable to use surrogate women for children
She is unaware what is God is doing something IN you during the waiting
Didn’t matter whether it was customary, and whether it is accepted in the culture.
God never said she should do this thing
Trust three things when God’s way doesn’t seem to be working:
- The promises of God
- The timing of God
- The goodnness of God

Neglect praying for wisdom and patience

It is sad that Sarai neglected her own walk with God / time with God praying and worshipping Him
She never was content and thankful for all the blessings God had already given her.
She never praised God, for his goodness already.
She never rested in the promises, even though they were taking a long time, and she never decided to just wait.
She never prayed for wisdom.
She never asked God WHAT she should do. What she needed to get right
Did you know ALL of those things are part of faith?
“From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not” - James 4:1,2

Strategize - Comes up with a plan - her own plan - Another way to have children

“,2 …and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai” - Genesis 16:1
She looks around and realises she has a handmaid, a servant.
- Basically, this woman was a slave.
- She waited upon Sarai
- She washed dishes - She took out the rubbish.
- Sarai probably trusted her.
- Saw that she was well able to have a baby.
This woman was named Hagar.
Sarai decides to use Hagar as a surrogate.
- As another womb. “I may obtain children by her*”*
- It happened all the time in the past, and it is still happening to this day.
- She is strategizing… “It may be that I will abstain children BY HER!”
In Sarai’s mind, the goal was a child.
- The method didn’t matter.
- Have you never heard the phrase “the end justifies the means”?
- Well, Hagar will answer the need for a child. This will take away the shame of being barren. This will make life a whole lot easier for Sarai. There’ll be no more waiting. They can start raising this child. And start having grandchildren within the next 20 or 30 years.
But the cost was going to be unimaginable!
Some women won’t wait on a good man for a husband
- “It may be that I can help him, and make him a good man
- “It may be I will be good for him…
- Some women do what the world is doing to get what they want - dressing like a harlot, selling their bodies - just to try and get a guys attention!
- Women end up with men who do not love their God, and do not even love them
God did not need Sarai’s strategies, or even her abilities
- He has never ever needed OUR help, OUR wisdom to do His will!
- All He requires is trust… And patient faith
By-the-way, God never gave Sarai this idea.
- Too many people think that what comes into their mind THEY came up with.
- And you need to learn that as well, because not everything you think, is good.
- Jesus rebuked Peter for the thoughts that he had about stopping Jesus from going to Jerusalem.

Beg to get Your Way - She BEGS Abram

She won’t “pray” to God, but BEGS Abram to take Hagar, and make a baby.
Abram probably was very unwilling at first - don’t think like most modern men are today - looking for any excuse to lust and have sex
He wasn’t looking for a hook-up

Justify YOUR Plan! Sarai justifies her way as better

“Behold! Just look at me.”
“I am withheld by God from getting pregnant.”
“I’m not getting any younger.”
“God wants you to have a son.”
“But evidently God doesn’t want ME to give you a son.”
“God’s way is taking too long.”
“God’s way is not working.”
“God’s way is very frustrating. Admit it Abram”
“It may be that I get a child, another way.”
“So let’s try my way.”
Who could argue with all that?

B. Who Was Hagar? (Genesis 16:1)

”… she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar” - Genesis 16:1
An Egyptian woman - she was from Egypt
A Slave - a possession, and object - a servant in their home - Abram and Sarai are very wealthy at this point
Property - Awarded to Abram and Sarai when they were in Egypt.
Never was asked, “Do you want to carry Sarai’s baby?” Abram is 90!
She is going to be part of one of the worst decisions ever made outside of Adam and Eve’s choice to rebel against God!

C. What Could Go Wrong? (Genesis 16:3)

“And Sarai Abram’s wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife” - Genesis 16:3
Remember this… This is all Sarai’s plan

Abram wasn’t interested in Hagar
The baby would not be Hagar’s, it would be Sarai’s
Hagar would just be USED - as a Surrogate
It was (and IS) a commonly done thing - culture accepts it
People today believe paying a woman to be a surrogate womb for a couple who can’t have children is okay
People even believe it is okay for a woman to pay for an anonymous man’s sperm to create for her a baby
Yet the Bible is very clear…
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Abram listened to the voice of his wife - just like Adam

Ideas are always good. Share them with each other. Talk. Dream. Work thru problems
Discussion is very important in a home.
It is very important for a husband to listen to his wife.
God will tell Abraham in Genesis 21 to listen to his wife
But not this time

But Abram is being PASSIVE about all this - not a good thing!

What is going on?
Abram is struggling with believing that God would give him children through Sarai
God has told him over and over he would have a son
But God did NOT tell Abram all the details
THAT is where FAITH comes in - trusting God for the GAPS
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

Sarai made Hagar a wife to Abram

It was Sarai that made Hagar another wife to her husband.
- Abram wasn’t seeking another wife.
- He didn’t ask for this.
- He loved Sarai.
- He’s been married to her for at least 50 years.
Now Abram has TWO WIVES? When has that EVER worked?
- Can you imagine it?
- Who can serve TWO masters?
Sarai opens her bedroom.
- She actually opens up her marriage to another woman!
- Sarai gave Hagar intimate access to her husband.
- There’s a lot of wicked Access to men at the workplace AND even in churches.
- Here’s Sarai, bringing another woman into her bedroom.
She made Hagar, a wife of Abram.
- Not a one night event.
- Evidently, Sarai is planning for more than one child through this woman, so she makes Hagar a wife.
And that violates Genesis 2:24 which is the gold standard of what a family is, and what a marriage is. It is one flesh. Let me repeat that… one flesh!
- Sex is for a man and his wife only
- For as long as your married, you do not have the privilege of having sex with anyone else, and you do not have the privilege of withholding it from the one you’re married to.
- Your flesh is for your marriage partner and no one else!

They were doing what seemed so right in their eyes

We are very good at justifying our own actions
- Sarai has touched a nerve.
- Evidently Abram is a little bit impatient as well.
- He starts to rationalise like Sarai had.
- “Maybe Sarai is right.
- “Maybe we have to do things differently to get the promise of God.
- “Maybe God can’t give Sarai a baby.
- “And maybe Hagar will work just as well because Hagar will give the baby to Sarai.
But Abam and Sarai were like sheep being led to the slaughter - they and their descendants will pay for this “idea” for the rest of history!
- Read the book of Judges and find out how low Israel went doing whatever seemed right in their own eyes!
- Judges 17:6 In those days there was no king in Israel, but every man did that which was right in his own eyes.

I hope you realise that this all happened before in Genesis 3

Adam hearkened to the voice of his wife.
And we know where that led.
Genesis 3:17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
Abram should have remembered how important Learning the book of Genesis was.
And learning from the mistakes of the people in it.

D. What was Abram NOT Doing?

He’s not reviewing the promise made to he and Sarai, and WHO it was that made it!!!
Not remembering he and Sarai were one flesh. They were already married, which means they were one flesh, so the promise was not just to Abram, but to them.
He wasn’t interceding for his wife.

Isaac learned this, thankfully, in Genesis 25:20,21 And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah to wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padanaram, the sister to Laban the Syrian. And Isaac intreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.
So often we claim to believe God, but what we mean is we just expect God to work everything out WITHOUT us praying and asking for GOD to show us what to do, and how to wait.
Abram was NOT interceding for his wife like he should have.
Oh, how necessary it is for us to pray.
We neglect to pray.
You know when there are problems in the home, you need a praying man.
- Yes, the wife needs to pray - We’ve already covered that
- But Abram is not praying about his wife’s barrenness, at least on record.
- He’s sort of just expecting God to give him a child out of the sky.
- And I don’t know if you realise this, but God doesn’t use storks anymore.
Did you know that Praying over the promises of God:
- Helps us believe the promises of God.
- Praying invites God to work on our behalf.
- It helps us wait on God.
- Impatient? Probably not spending any time in REWAL prayer to God!

Abram wasn’t Resting

Real spirituality is the ability to be at rest - not anxious, not controlling, but content where you are, for as long as God wants there
Abram began to agree with Sarai that they needed to try something else.

Another thing that Abram didn’t do was he didn’t lead.

“Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement” - 1Peter 3:6
Abram generally did lead his home - but not now!
Instead, Abram is letting Sarai lead.
He should have just told Sarai:
- To just be patient.
- To trust in the Lord with all her heart - no room for anxiety
- Most woman don’t wanto to be told to stop panicking, and trust God
- “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation [REST] be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” - Philippians 4:4-7

And he’s not concerned about the consequences of his decision, which you always need to be. You and I need to be concerned about the consequences of our words, and of our actions. What we watch. Who we hang around with. Who we allow to influence us

E. What DID Go Wrong? (Genesis 16:4-5)

“And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress[SARAI] was despised in her eyes. And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee” - Genesis 16:4-6
Hagar gets pregnant

It happens!
Sarai has gotten what she wanted.
It must have thrilled Abram - hopefully a SON!
Certainly everything’s going to go great from now on. Right?
But the consequences are almost incalculable.
The consequences of this one choice that Sarai made, and that Abram agreed to, are going to come back on Abram, Isaac, Jacob for the rest of history.

Hagar now sees herself as better than Sarai

Hagar despises Sarai now - a slave woman looking down on one of the richest women in Canaan
Do you blame her?
Hagar sees herself as better than Sarai now
As more important than Sarai
- Getting all of Abram’s attention.
- Abram is going to be rubbing Hagar’s feet every evening, rubbing her back, checking on her all the time to see if she needed anything during that pregnancy
Treats Sarai like she is nothing - should just go into the background now - “go make some sandwiches!”
As having more power in that home than Sarai - and she did!
As no longer as a slave, no longer nameless, and no longer abused
She is going to have her day now, and will be the better wife to Abram than Sarai was!
WOW!

Sarai is hurt deeply

Sarai now has an enemy in her own home.
She has been REPLACED!
Someone is now more important to Abram than her!
And she can’t get rid of her.
Sarai made this woman who she now is!
She never imagined that things would turn out this way.
She never imagined what had seemed so simple and so easy would turn so wrong

F. Blame, Blame Blame (Genesis 16:5-6)

“And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee. But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face” - Genesis 16:5-6
Sarai explodes with blame all around!
She blames God “God is against me - won’t let me get pregnant - this is HIS fault”
She blames Abram

Sarai turns against Abram and says it’s more your fault. My wrong is your fault!
- Everything was for you, Abram, and look what has happened to me.
- “My wrong idea is because of YOU Abram!” “It is YOUR fault I did this”
And then she declares that God is going to show her to be more righteous than Abram was in all this - like in a court room
And you know what? God doesn’t show Sarai was more right!
You had better be careful thinking you are so right!
She forgot All of this was her idea.
Now I have to agree, Abram has some of the blame.
But I have to I have to say, blaming fixes anything.
Not without people who are willing to accept the blame and seek God’s help.

Then she blames Hagar

Hagar was just doing what Sarai expected.
And now, Listen to Sarai say, “I was despised in her eyes…”
What Hagar thought of Sarai was more important to her than what Abram thought of her, or what GOD thought of her

Sarai never blames herself. I find it very strange that people are so stubborn

G. In the end, Abram yields to Sarai’s anger (Genesis 16:6)

Genesis 16:6 But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee…
Abram is STILL being very passive.

Abram instantly agrees to divorce Hagar willingly.
He is trying to show that he loves only Sarai.
He demotes Hagar back to being Sarai’s servant.
Does not want war in his home - NO MAN does!

And then tells Sarai to do as it pleases her.

Men do not like conflict in the home - would rather go campling, live in a attic
“Do what you want with her
“Whatever will make you happy, and that is not wise either.
He is sad that all this has happened, but he has no idea how to fix this
Abram is NOT right in backing away
- That baby is HIS!
- Hagar is HIS responsibility now
- Sarai should NOT be allowed to continue to make wrong decisions and actions
Abram has God-given authority in his home and needs to use it to protect the people in it - not let Sarai do as she pleases with Hagar

Can you not see that Abram should have stepped in and said …

“All right, we have to have some new ground rules.
“We need to pray again and get some wisdom about what to do next.
“We now have LIVES at stake.
“We have a baby coming.
“We have a woman here that has been elevated and now is about to be thrown out.
“We have to stop and think about what we’re doing.
“Because vengeance never satisfies the person who’s been hurt.
“Don’t ever do as you please. Do what God says do.
But Abram just gives in to her emotions

H. Sarai took out her frustrations on Hagar (Genesis 16:6)

Genesis 16:6 … And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.
Sarai makes life for Hagar a living hell!

Dealt hardly / harshly / cruelly / horribly with Hagar
Constant emotional abuse, physical abuse

Sarai takes out all her wrath on Hagar.

I don’t think Sarai is trying to kill Hagar.
But Sarai is definitely trying to make her life miserable
Maybe she is trying to cause a miscarriage - we don’t know.
I just know that women know how to hurt each other, and so can men.
But Sarai is very harsh and cruel towards Hagar.
Hagar is now instantly divorced - no longer a wife
She has been demoted back to the level of the lowest servant and slave.
She is back being someone no one cared about.
Treated with abuse and constant mockery and anger by Sarai
She is constantly in danger for her life - she is pregnant, remember?

All Hagar can do is run for her life! No one cared for her - at least so she thought!

I. Conclusion

A. What good could come out of this?

God is going to use this.
He is recording all this for OUR learning, and benefit!
God is going to use this stupidity, and arrogancy, and pride, and scheming.
For his own purpose.
And you need to know that He will do that with you as well.
Sometimes for your benefit, but also mostly for your humiliation.
If only we would always get back to trusting Him!

B. Isn’t the Bible so amazing? So revealing of how WE ALL really are?

I wish you saw YOURSELF in these pages!
These pages do not show perfect people
They do not describe people without problems
They show us as wicked as we are - selfish, hurtful, abusive

C. How do you see your life?

Through all your failures and limitations?
Or through the lens of the promises and abilities of GOD?

D. So many of us are like Sarai

So focused on your past, what people have done to you
How God did nothing to stop it, or fix it
How you felt like YOU had to do some things you now regret
And then take out your frustrations on others - on the people you trusted would help you
God is going to transform Sarai into a better woman in spite of all this
He can do the same with any of us!