Sarah's Lord - Sermon Notes | Bible Baptist Church of Ballincollig

I. Introduction (Genesis 18:10-12)

Sarah had a pretty good home
She had a godly husband who was trying to live by faith
She didn’t have control - Abraham was always on the move
Abraham was flawed and made wrong decisions
Sarah had her failings too (Hagar, struggling with faith)
Yet she had several things right: she trusted God, she had the right attitude towards her husband, and she was part of why their marriage lasted

“And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him. Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also.” - Genesis 18:10-12

II. Sarah’s Respect Towards Abraham (Genesis 18:12)

Sarah laughed within herself - not bursting out, but chuckling quietly
In her passing words, she said two remarkable things:
1. “Shall I have pleasure?” - she found joy in her marriage even at 89
2. “My lord being old also” - she called Abraham her lord
She did not say “my husband” or “my man” - she said “my lord”
Sarah called a sinful, imperfect, flawed man her lord
Only a Christian woman would ever willingly respect her husband like that
That word “lord” is the Hebrew word Adon (short for Adonai) - it means “the boss”
It is a title spoken by someone who honours another person higher than they see themselves
Sarah submits herself as a wife to the leadership of her husband - not as a slave
She does not see herself as inferior to Abraham, and does not see Abraham as superior to her
She believes Abraham is in charge of their home

III. To the Christian Man

A. Be More Like Abraham

Sarah is honouring a man who is flawed - and we are more flawed than Abraham was
90% of the Bible is written to men - it tears us to pieces, strips us down, and humbles us
We need to take seriously that we need to be more like Abraham

B. Trust God

It is humiliating to be wrong, especially as a man
Abraham had no idea where he was going when he left Ur of the Chaldees
He just trusted God - that is our calling

“Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations… And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead… He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.” - Romans 4:18-21

C. Walk With God Yourself

Listen to God - let His word speak to you
Abraham everywhere he went was walking with God, talking with God
He would build an altar wherever he was so he could worship God

D. Be a Blessing

Abraham got up instantly to serve the three strangers in Genesis 18
He said, “How can I serve you?” - that ought to be wired into us
If your wife was asked, “Is your husband a blessing or a burden?” - how would she respond?

E. Lead Your Home

“For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.” - Genesis 18:19

Abraham made decisions - gentlemen, we need men to make decisions again
Don’t let her make all the decisions just because it keeps the peace
Make decisions with much prayer, talk your plans over with her, get her feedback
She is probably worth listening to - probably 10 times more spiritual than you
But in the end, make the decision and get your family behind you

F. Help Your Wife

When Abraham wanted to feed the three men, he didn’t just tell Sarah to get dinner on
He told her, “Make some bread,” and then he did the barbecue himself
He got the calf, the milk, the plates, the silverware, the water - and he served
Show your wife you know how much it takes to run a home

G. Get God Into Your Home

What was really special about Abraham’s home? God felt comfortable to walk right into it
Two angels and Jehovah God showed up and were welcome in his home

“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him” - Revelation 3:20

Be careful what you allow into your home and your church
Make sure God is not just at church, but in your home

H. Let God Work on Your Wife’s Heart

Abraham didn’t interrupt when God was speaking
God was speaking loud enough so Sarah would hear - that’s why she laughed
Let God work on your wife - He is just as capable of working on her as He was on you
Was God patient with us men? Then be patient with your wife getting things right

IV. To the Christian Wife (1 Peter 3:1-6)

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” - 1 Peter 3:1,2

Peter focuses on Sarah’s two words: “my lord”
Peter writes to Christian women whose husband is unworthy - Sarah submitted to a flawed man
If you and your husband are battling, here’s how you win: do the hard things

A. Trust God First

If you don’t have your own walk with God, everything Peter wrote will be hard to hear
The first commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength
Trust Him and say, “He’s right. His way is best, not the world’s way, not even my own way”

B. Be in Subjection (1 Peter 3:1)

“Subjection” means to yield your will to your husband’s
It does not mean you don’t have a will - express it, disagree, say “You’re wrong”
Your wife is your partner - partners argue and debate because they want the business to survive
But in the end, one has to make the final decision - one is 51%, the other 49%
When he puts his foot down and says, “This is what we’re going to do” - you yield your will
Follow your husband like you would follow Jesus (Ephesians 5:22-24)
Never accept abuse, never accept bullying, but accept his will over yours

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” - James 4:7

C. Chaste Conversation Coupled With Fear (1 Peter 3:2)

“Chaste conversation” means a controlled, restrained way of life
Does not mean no conversation - there are times to argue, debate, disagree
But restrain yourself - don’t say everything that comes to your head

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” - Psalm 19:14

“Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.” - Psalm 141:3

“Fear” means the fear of God, not fear of your husband
She fears God more than what Abraham could do in his life

D. Inward Beauty (1 Peter 3:3,4)

“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” - 1 Peter 3:3,4

Modern women put all their effort into looks and outward beauty
When a woman wears fancy hair, clothes, and jewellery, she shows off wealth, pride, and sexual power - but not beauty
It’s like worrying about the paint on your house when the walls are crumbling
The Christian wife shows her heart and her attitude
Feed your heart with right things, not social media

E. Meekness and Quietness

Meekness is humility - it does not mean weak or a pushover
It means you don’t respond out of pride to your husband
Quietness - a godly woman is not loud or overbearing
These are the clothes that a godly woman wears, and they make her beautiful even at 90

V. Follow Biblical Examples (1 Peter 3:5,6)

“For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” - 1 Peter 3:5,6

Follow the example of the old-time holy women who trusted in God:
1. Abigail - her spirit and attitude toward an ungodly man (Nabal)
2. Rebecca - a great example of a godly woman
3. Noah’s wife - stuck with him for 100 years while he built a boat in the desert
4. The Proverbs 31 wife - a very convicting woman to study
5. Leah, Rachel, Naomi, Ruth - women who had to put up with problems beyond what we can compare
6. Hannah - she had an adversary living in her home making her life miserable, and she turned to God
7. Sarah - calling her flawed husband “lord” after 60+ years of marriage
Not one of them sought divorce; not one of them walked away

VI. What About Abuse?

Men’s abuse of authority is rampant - even in the church - and it is shameful
Modern men twist many scriptures to their own benefit
Be very careful with the word “abuse” because two things are happening:
1. Men are abusing in a big way
2. Women are accusing everything of being abuse
Being emotionally upset, hurt, or triggered does not always mean abuse
But constant manipulation and emotional abuse IS abuse
Don’t throw out the Bible because you’ve had dark times in your marriage
There are times when there is real abuse and it must be dealt with - that’s what the Gardai, the courts, and counsellors are for
If you are afraid for your life, talk to someone - you will be protected and loved
Before we ever get to that place of hurt and damage, if we get our hearts right, if we keep fixing things before the sun goes down, we can survive

VII. Conclusion

Gentlemen, we are so unworthy - if your wife submits to you, you ought to say, “I do not want to blow it”
If you want your wife to grow to that place, Abraham is our example
We need to grow our faith and our walk
It begins with trusting God, knowing God, loving God, and believing that He is right

“But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” - James 4:6,7