Despina R

Hi my name is Despina.

This is my testimony of how I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.

I used to and allowed Satan to rule my life, and did many things I am now ashamed of:

• I used to cut myself and write in blood
• My wardrobe was black
• I cursed people that irritated me
• I tried to commit suicide several times, and in general I hated life
• I listened to heavy metal
• Did drugs and Alcohol

That is only a glimpse of the evil things I used to do.

When things went wrong in my life, which they often did, I called out to God. I knew I did not belong to him but I knew He was real because all Satanists know there is a God, so believing in God was never an issue for me.

God even sent a lot of Christians my way but as soon as I heard the name JESUS, I would cringe and wanted to literally attack them. (Makes you think of how powerful the name of JESUS is… doesn’t it?)

I was terrified of death and I knew that if I died I would go straight to hell. I knew Satan was not my friend, but he would do almost anything you asked him as long as he could own you for eternity.

One day in 1998, I was sitting upstairs at my favourite nightclub looking down at the people dancing. I was so drunk, drugged and depressed but I didn’t want to live like this anymore. I knew I needed God, and I didn’t want to go to hell, so I called out to Him and said “God, please help me.” Seconds after that I got a tap on my shoulder. There was a girl standing beside me. She looked at me and said, “Do you know Jesus?” Wow, that just blew me away…

The following Sunday she took me to church. After about two services the pastor asked if there were any people that were not sure if they were going to heaven and asked for a show of hands. I wanted to put my hand up but it felt like a weight pulling it down, but eventually my hand shot up (it felt like eternity). A lady counsellor came and took me to a back room were she explained salvation and what Jesus did for me. I accepted Jesus in my life… hallelujah.

I felt so happy, like a massive burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Everything started changing in my life. Now when I heard the name of Jesus I did not cringe but I would cry if people spoke badly about Him. I also didn’t want to kill myself anymore and was not afraid of dying.

Since 1998 I have had my ups and down’s, went over mountains and through valleys and even back-sliding, but God was always with me.

He has blessed me with a beautiful daughter and brought me to Ireland to meet the Ledbetter’s and of course the wonderful people at the Ballincollig Baptist Church. I have never experienced such love, support and understanding in a church before. They accepted me in their church and in their home even though they knew my faults. They have taught me so many truths and are constantly helping me to grow and stay strong in the Lord. No other church did that for me… they are my family in Christ Jesus.

Despina R