Luminita M

I was born in Romania into an Orthodox background. It’s basically almost the same as the Roman Catholic religion, with pictures on the walls and a lots of saints to worship and fancy rituals. My grandmother was a very religious person so she taught us (me and my sister) everything about God and Jesus, we said our prayers every night before going to bed and we went to church every Sunday with her, so we believed in God and we feared Him, so we tried to obey the laws, pray, and do all those things that a religious person does.

As I grew up I got bored of going to church, but still believed in God and prayed to Him, hoping every day that He will stop the violence in my family, that He will make my dad stop drinking, because he was such a nice man when he didn’t drink, and I was kept praying and hoping, but it never happened, so around the age of sixteen, I gave up on God, saying to myself that He can’t exist as He allowed all that suffering in my life, while I was doing everything right! (So I thought)

So, I started to search for another God who could help me, reading philosophy, the super human concept tempted me for a while, trying to find the strength in myself, all these concepts and lies, then studied about Buddhism and the concept of reincarnation appeared to me the most logical explanation of all. I was so confused and unhappy, that was the darkest and sad period in my life, feeling unloved, hurt and without hope, and at age 24 I fell into a very severe depression, finding myself unable to cope with life.

It took me almost a year to recover, but when I did, I was a different person and my life has changed, I couldn’t understand at that time yet, many years passed before I could, but I know now that God literally saved my life back then!

God was trying to get my attention for all those years, and I didn’t understand anything! I was wondering why weird things happened to me, I was going up in life, as I thought, and then suddenly all the way down. I had a friend who was a Baptist and he told me to read the Bible and I did, but it was like any other book for me, my heart was not touched, until the day I went to a Baptist church, in Dublin, and I melted completely, I couldn’t understand why and I felt like I’m going to cry my eyes out and I felt terribly guilty, like I was the worst person in that church, really. That was in 2001 and in the process of time, it took me a while to understand the Love that God had for me and what Jesus did for me and, the most important, I saw that I was a sinner, and I was so thankful that God forgave me and He never gave up on me! I felt very special and completely happy!

And in 2004, on 15th of August I gave my heart and my life to Jesus! That was the most important and the best decision that I ever made, and my only regret is that I didn’t understand earlier, I could have spared myself from so many deceptions and sadness and I could have enjoyed my life truly!

I am not saying that my life has been perfect since. I still have troubles and sorrows but this time it’s completely different. I knew God is in control, I know He is shaping me, working on my life and He is there for me all the way. I never lose hope as before and I am certain that He is the only God and will never let me down or deceive me! He loves me so much that my mind would never be able to understand and my words would not be able to describe it!

And here I am today, in the Ballincollig Bible Baptist church, which I think is another present from God for me, learning the words of God, finding the true meaning of them, and being happy that I finally find what I was looking for and my soul is not empty anymore. God fills me with joy and Love… and a glimpse of eternity! Praise God!!!

Lumi M